the world is bright and beautiful

This is my girlfriend Ricci Nicole Fast.

Or rather, this is my girlfriend Ricci on Harry Potter night, immediately after acquiring her copy of book 7 (which was awesome, BTW.) I miss her a lot. She has been in Kansas since Friday, and while I know that isn’t a terrible amount of time, it is beginning to wear on me that I haven’t seen her. You see, I love my girlfriend Ricci. Clearly, she’s gorgeous. She’s also funny, whimsical, creative and talented. These are 2 paintings she’s made for me.

The one on the left was a birthday present, the one on the right came earlier this year on a whim. The blue one also had a letter hidden in its canvas, a small note to convey how much she loves me, hopes for me and prays for me. I am used to notes, but not such a letter as this. She makes me feel a hundred feet tall and worth the whole world over. When she painted these, she somehow knew what colors and what kind of trees would make me feel like playing guitar and being creative. I love trees like this. I feel artistic when I’m around these; don’t ask me why exactly. I can’t think of anyone else who would have known to paint me trees like these.

I have been sick all week, to the point of losing my voice and sleeping very, very little. This has undoubtedly added to my missing Ricci so. In attempts to still feel of some worth in my current condition, I began cleaning my room. That’s when I decided to post about Ricci.

This is my Ricci Box.

Actually, this is my second Ricci Box. I transferred the contents this morning. I like this new box a little better. In it you can see a pack of pictures we took with disposable cameras. We’ve made it a goal to one day have thousands of photos of ourselves together to show off and annoy people with. In plain sight are also a mix CD that I forgot to give her, an incredible short story she wrote me, various notes and letters from her, a sticky note of lyrics that I wrote about us shortly after we started dating, and the piece of receipt paper that she wrote her phone number on the first time I ever asked her out.

I realize that I am terribly sentimental, but I love doting on my girlfriend. I don’t blame you if you jumped off this merry-go-round long ago, but today was just such a day.

This is my friend Josh Mickelson. If you can’t see why I love this guy as much as I do, then your internet browser is probably like child labor laws: silly and outdated. But, if you’ve joined the rest of us here in the future by using Safari or FireFox, then you can see the picture below, and understand my love for this man. The results are in, Amigo!

People, having spent time reading, studying, and thinking, I’ve come to the conclusion that I really don’t care about the whole Apple/PC thing. Yes, I personally prefer Apple. But Apple suits me, fits my lifestyle. It may not be the same for everyone (although I really can’t see why.) So rather than catch myself up in the personal attacks and endless debate, I’d rather just say that I prefer Apple to MS.

Well, today is good, although it also kinda sucks. A lot. I can’t speak anymore, thanks to this damned cold I’ve had since Thursday. I’ve never lost my voice like this before; I sound like “The Throat Cancer Christmas Album.” I went grocery shopping today. It was nice to actually afford to go grocery shopping. The guy at the counter asked me how I was doing today, and I said “I’ve been better.” He said “good.” I think that maybe he didn’t really understand what I said, (see “Throat Cancer,” above.) I got a nice pack of Sucrets, but soon came to regret the decision. You see, Sucrets are like cough syrup. Except they last about 500% as long as cough syrup. Why would I decide on those? Alas. I’m drinking lots of Naked juice now, in attempt to trick my body into getting better. And, oh yes, of course. If you ever wondered why The Killers are my favorite band…

I just spent a long, long time looking through the archives of a former blog, and this is weird. really, really strange feeling. You want to know something that sucks? Having your heart broken. I know, that seems pretty obvious. But it is true. It is one thing having nothing but bad memories of a person, place, or thing that isn’t in your life anymore. But having people, places, and things that aren’t in your life anymore that you truly loved and were truly happy with…well, that sucks. A lot. But I’m “Seaning” you guys now, focusing on where I’ve been and getting too sad/nostalgic to move on to where I’m going. Life is just big and scary sometimes.

Let me say that when people refuse to post a comment I made on their blog, I become angry. T-O’d. I welcome any comments on my blog short of vulgarity or spamming. I realize that my previous post will likely earn me a long list of debateful comments, some of which I will agree with, many of which I will not. I’m okay with that. This is the blogosphere, the pinnacle of intellectual freedom. Don’t freaking delete my comments because I said that you were wrong. Jeezum Crow.

Can you fill in the blanks? I’ll give you a prize if you can. I was eating my lunch today in the food court at Park Meadows, when what should appear on the giant screen beside Dick’s Sporting Goods than a commercial for “Here I Am To Worship,” a 3-disc compilation of popular worship songs. This was quite interesting to me, seeing across 16 screens people raising their hands and dancing. It was also fun seeing the puzzled/quizzical looks on the faces of people as they too noticed the ad. Simpy fun to see peoples reactions to something that must appear so utterly bizzare.

I can’t think of anything more worth sharing than this.

I am in constant and eager anticipation of the forthcoming Ours release entitled “Mercy.” It is still set for Spring 2008, and when it finally arrives you can be sure of where to find me, holed up with Jimmy Gnecco and my Midnight Blue Vibes. But onward, I suppose, to whatever point may be derived or contrived herein.

I am a terrible blogger, posting infrequently and waiting for the next “big idea” before really posting. But great blogs are not made in such ways, so habitual absence must be done away with, and with greatest haste.

I am an emotionally unstable person. I find that for every action of joy, love, hope, and peace, there is within me an equal reaction of meloncholy, isolation, fear, and worry. I suppose that these are perfectly human traits, but it is with great urgency that I pray for the latter to be lessened and that the former, all coincidentally fruits of the Spirit, may be increased in my life. I suppose that, under such evaluation, it is actually alarmingly and amusingly clear what I need: more of God’s presence and Spirit in my life. Strange that all longstanding rumors regarding the transformation of Christ in us are in my tumultuous life shown forth true. Ever mysterious, ever bright.

Esteemed ladies and beloved gentleman, for both my isolation and absences I apologize, foremost to the Young Americans and to my family; I’m pretty sure that Ricci files under their ranks as well.

It is painful and hopeful to see brought to light the things that weigh you down. Onwards and upwards.

It is definitely Christmastime. We had a fantastic time at a party for Teen CBS, where Ricci and I lead worship. We ate delicious ham and played ludicrous games. But we sang carols. I haven't sang carols since I was 11 years old, but there we were, all singing carols. It was a blast. It was exactly the kind of thing that people like me are supposed to be pretentious about and hate. But, it was one of the best experiences of my life. Being united with a group of people who all love what they're doing at the same time creates something that I can't really describe. I suppose this is why for me, worship at a place like New Life makes so much more sense and means so much more to me. I love small, intimate groups for that same reason of unity, but when you're surrounded by people who love what they're doing, something extroardinary happens. I love it.

Ricci and I are headed to see "Juno" tonight, and I have high hopes. I'll let you know how it is.