The killer part of my distracted life is realizing that the same things that distract me from having fellowship with God will distract me from having fellowship with the people I care about and love. Those same distractions are there, tearing down my human relationships as my relationship with God starts to break down.
Case in point: entering a room while talking on your Crackberry or Jesus iPhone. Texting constantly. “Hiding” in emails. Shoot, last night I sat on my laptop in total silence in the same room as one of my dearest friends in the world. I didn’t even acknowledge the fact that he was there.
And you know what, I didn’t want him to know I was there. I haven’t been making any real efforts in our friendship, so it’s much easier to stay distracted than go to the work of being a bro.
Plus there are some recurring sins and struggles in my life that make me feel weak, embarrassed, and stupid, so the idea of having fellowship with my fellows is scary and uncomfortable. So I browse YouTube and read Mac blogs until I can’t keep my eyes open, and then I distract myself with sleep.
Doesn’t that suck?
When all the while I have tons of incredible human relationships and an incredible relationship with the living God of the ages that I’m ignoring.
The relationships and fellowship that could bring me true depth, growth, and joy I ignore.
This is a painful reality. But pain births desire, and desire births discipline.
Sorry for being a lame friend.
God, sorry for being a lame kid!
I’ve often found that the revelation and subsequent sorries are actually more valuable and life-altering than having just gotten it right on the first try. Sounds weird, right? And maybe it’s tainted by all the apologies I’ve needed to make in life lately. But when I learned to ride a bike, the skinned knee taught me more than the curb I didn’t fall off of.
A wonderful friend recently told me that humility teaches us as much as growth, apparently you get both. Sounds like we’re all lucky to know you.