I think there is a trend in the local church today. I see it in books and I hear it in conversations.
People are burned out. People are fed up. People are angry and upset. People feel let down by the church, and they’re leaving it to start new, better, hipper churches. And they’re telling us it is all our fault. Our fault for being too political. For having childrens plays they feel are just for the socialites. For having porn problems. For wanting more people to come to church. For having nice carpet or bigger buildings to house and serve more people.
We write books, we write blogs about how unaccepting and intolerant the church is. We piss and moan because the people in the church are ruining it.
We talk about or desire to reach the broken, sinful people outside of church. We talk about how much we love crackheads and prostitutes, but we write the meanest slander about the rich and the ministerily employed. We talk about loving people as they are, as Jesus did. But we refuse to love our churches and the humans inside them.
We love to criticize everybody for being too loud or too quiet, too “showy” and arrogant. We judge everyone in the church based on the actions we disagree with, but we still expect those same people to just see our “good intentions.” We mask our slander and our gossip and our cruelty under a “desire for change.” We disguise our prideful unwillingness to let the church help us in our struggles under a sea if blame and attacks on why it is all the chuches fault when we get hurt and refuse healing.
We love Joe because he’s a recovering addict. We hate Bob because he’s worked hard to give his family a nicer living condition. We think Don is cool because he writes books on why the church is a failure and the true Christians should abandon her. We hate Tim because he’s pastor of a large congregation and doing the best he can. We blame the church for being intolerant but we can’t tolerate the beautiful broken people who make the church what it is. We’ve decided we’re better off alone and the local church is damned.
Well, I’m tired of it.
[...] Posted on December 12, 2008 by mbrage Very interesting post over at bright and beautiful; challenging, disapointing and yet strangly encouraging all at the same time. Take a minute to read [...]
This is not a hopeful post at all. Sean where is the resolution in this post? We are called to be people of hope, faith and love. Honestly, I feel like this post is nothing but an emotional outburst that isn’t grounded in very much honest truth. I honestly don’t think things are as bad as you are making them out to be. It does absolutely no one any good for any of us to get excited or emotionally moved by some sort of media (book, sermon, etc.) and then just start shouting about the injustice of the church world. That doesn’t help anyone. It is self-indulgent. For a moment we feel like we finally see things the way they really are, but in reality we have just found ourselves stuck in a glass case of emotion. Shouting loudly, impressing ourselves with our own ability to feel while completely trapped unable to impact anyone or help anything. I have been there, but I didn’t stay there.
I don’t know Hosh, while there is an element of outburst in this post, there is also much to be taken from it. Now I agree that there is value in a resolution or solution to be offered, and it if fair to offer your own or ask for ideas. But I think there is nothing wrong with challenging what is going on around you in this format if it elicits discussion and conversation.
I think Hosh’s point is that discussion and conversation are pointless if they aren’t working towards resolution.
Good discussion all of you.
One thing I’ve noticed (and I’m not sure if there’s anything to it) is that until I started reading christian blogs I didn’t hear about the “burned out” church and all the things that are wrong with it as often. It almost feels like the whole viral, post-whatever-you-want-and-remain-anonymous (not speaking of you, Sean) scene has given people a chance to either over-think things and stop focusing on what’s important (matt 5-8 and the like) or it’s given them the freedom to speak what’s always been on their minds. Either way, it’s been around for about 10 years now and I don’t see it accomplishing much. Has it?
My heart recently, (and yes, I realize this was an emotional post, but this is my blog and I should be allowed to be real from time to time,) is this:
Yes, the church has issues.
Yes, it’s okay to feel burned out or hurt.
But it is not okay to leave the church with unresolved issues, refuse to seek help or counsel within the church, and then bash and attack the church for your problems.
Church is family. You don’t walk out on family and then tell the world that your family is to blame. We deal with our issues together.
The church is made up of people. It always has been, and it always will be. No matter how traditional or progressive, entrenched or emergent your church is, sooner or later someone is going to act like a human and offend you. Or upset you. Or hurt you.
That sucks. It’s a crappy part of life.
But we don’t deal with it through gossip, slander, finger pointing, and name calling. I know, because I’m guilty of all 4 all the time.
We don’t get to bash other people and attack the work and calling of God in their life because we think it’s too big or too little, too rock or too country, too hip or to old-fashioned.
We love to throw around the “Big C” church concept, the ideas of humanity and brokenness. But when humanity and brokenness actually rear their heads, we don’t have the luxury of leaving, crying, and then attacking the church because we don’t want to deal with our issues.
We have to stay committed, united, and together.
That’s what my post was about. Thanks to everyone for contributing and discussing. Please don’t stop!
@zack – you hit the nail on the head, and I actually have a blog post scheduled for monday morning on that exact subject. Every issue seems to be WAY more magnified on the internet, because people don’t censor themselves
@sean – I agree, we should defend the church more. We shouldn’t let people trounce all over it. On the other hand, I think that the church shouldn’t reject people that take certain issue. It should be handled in love, and not name calling, finger pointing, etc. etc.
Perhaps, based on everyone’s responses, what Mark has said is best….But let me expound on why:
- Outburst is a response to frustration. Maybe not the best, but real and honest. I agree with joshmickelson about avoiding finger pointing, but I’ve also noticed that we seem to feel free to point the finger quickly when we think that someone has pointed it elsewhere first…
- If a resolution is not offered, perhaps it’s because the writer doesn’t have one yet.
- When offering a comment about lack of resolution, it may be most helpful to offer a solution instead of just pointing out the faults of the writing as the major take-away from the post.
- There are certainly times when the cyber-disconnect allows people a forum for speaking that can either continue unresolved or create a feeling of freedom from the weight of words. However, I can personally attest to some amazing growth and revelation that have come through sharing in the “blogosphere” and reading/discussing on blogs like flowerdust, bright and beautiful, thatgirlkate and more. In any medium words are a double edged sword… but there most certainly is a sharpening edge.
Maybe I’m “outbursting” a bit myself here… I just see both sides. I want resolution. But I can see how the resolution still doesn’t come when no comment comes with discussion about a solution but instead each comes with critique.
Relationships in the church are tough. Shoot, relationships anywhere are tough. But in the particular case of this post, I honestly think a solid dose of mindfulness of the humanity we all have, including our faults, a reminder to do our best to love without judging, an effort to grow the Kingdom through relationship (time, commitment, fellowship), and consistent, constant prayer will see the Bride of Christ brought to her best.
Amen Lacey!
For some reason, I feel like outbursts like this are necessary. Sean, with your honesty, you are actually voicing what other people are too uncomfortable to voice. But this situation needs to be addressed. I know way too many friends who have walked away from the church and given up on it. (And their pain goes deep.) Something does need to change in our churches.
What we need is a new revelation of what the Bride of Christ looks like — what God intends for us to do as we commune together with a united purpose. How to love like Christ loved, for crying out loud.
1 John says it over and over and over: “Love one another.” I think we need to really dig deep into what that means in our every day life. We need to remember to have grace for one another. We need to fight so that we don’t get trapped into a Pharisee’s mindset.
All of this transformation starts within ourselves. (like receiving the help and healing that we need, for example.) And then, we can take a step forward.
I am so glad that God has grace for all of us — even in the state that we’re in… or especially in the state that we’re in. I am praying that we as a church can embrace that same grace for each other, yet possess a bold enough love to transform our community and its values more into God’s likeness.
Don’t shoot me…but does anyone ever think maybe we put too much pressure on Church…or carry some sort of unrealistic expectation about what Church is supposed to be? How did we get to the place where we judge a church soley on what it does to me–or how it makes me feel?
I grew up in the mainstream denominations. We took church for what it was; sure we complained about the pastor at times, or the choir director. But I don’t remember taking all of the Churches’ idiosyncrasies or shortcomings so personally. I don’t believe any entity could live up to the grand expectations we have…but is that the Churches’ fault or ours?
Another question I have, is where we got the idea that church is to be family…is that in the Bible? Cuz, I love the people I go to church with (or at least some of them) but they aren’t family. Maybe this adds to the pressure we put on all these relationships to be so all-encompassing and somehow provide “everything” we need.
Just a different point of view for your consideration…
Has anyone read the book “The Shack”?
Read it last night and thought about this discussion for some reason. In the book, a guy ends up spending the weekend at a shack with the trinity. There were some really great questions posed, and while it’s obviously a fictional book, some very simple truths emphasized.
I have no real reason for posting this other than recommending the book. Great read.