Losing Touch

It’s funny how often we forget our allow ourselves to be hornswaggled regarding the unending love of God. We push, we fall, we make human mistakes and get caught up, as anyone would, in this mess of life and think that God must have rejected us sometime during the night. Amidst the chaos and din, He must have gotten tired and left.

But never, ever, in the history of the world and even before it, has God ever up and left. He has never once decided He’s had enough. In fact, just the opposite is true.

God is insanely, madly in love with us. Sometimes I think we forget this. I think we get afraid that if we focus too much on God’s love, we’ll miss something or do something wrong or get stuck in shallow spirituality. And perhaps it’s possible to do so.

But we have to remind ourselves and remind the enemy (yes, I mean the devil. yes, the devil is real,) that God delights Himself in resuscitating, rescuing, and restoring His people. He may not coddle us or pander to us, but He is always faithful and kind and compassionate.

Don’t believe me? Try this on for size:

3 The LORD appeared to us in the past, [a] saying:
“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with loving-kindness.

4 I will build you up again
and you will be rebuilt, O Virgin Israel.
Again you will take up your tambourines
and go out to dance with the joyful.

That’s Jeremiah 31:3 – 4. I could talk for hours just about that passage, but let’s keep this sophisticated here.

Loved with an everlasting love; drawn with loving-kindness. Rebuilt, O Virgin Israel.

I love this verse because it’s God telling us with such fatherly care that everything really is going to be okay. Sure, it’s hard. Times are tough. Life kicks you around. But He’s the God of dancing-again. And I love the fact that God chooses to refer to His people as “O Virgin Israel.”

We know that throughout history, the people of God had certain habits that were lest than faithful.

Folks was skanky. In a spiritual sense. Israel was sleeping around with whatever false god shook its little booty at the time, getting into all sorts of trouble and really falling off of all kinds of wagons.

But here, the God of the universe refers to His people as, “O Virgin Israel.”

As in, O pure, unspoiled, sanctified, precious, clean, beautiful and sacred treasure Israel.

Meaning that in our absolute dirtiest, nastiest, fallenest, fail-iest, most skanky, most distant-from-God-liest, God still looks on us as His pure, special, sanctified, set apart, holy people.

Life’s really not fair, and I mean that in the best way possible.

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Politik

Tonight I had the chance to see an old pastor of mine, a man I very dearly love and miss. It was very strange, because even though it has been literally years since I’ve seen him, it felt like we’d just had coffee the day before. I was dumbfounded by the feeling of family, community, and relationship I still get around this guy.

But I was more struck because I don’t know how that really happens.

Here’s depth of relationship, quality of fellowship, love, joy, peace, family. Sure, he’s the head of his flock. But talking to him you feel like he’s a fellow sheep and shepherd all at once.

This is something God has been dealing with me on a lot. I’ve sort of lived my life like a politician. 

You see, my greatest desire is to have genuine relationship, true fellowship, and bonded family ties with my church. 

But I think too often I find myself greasing palms and kissing babies, polishing my plastic smile instead of sharing myself and opening up enough to truly connect with people. 

At church, at work, you name it. Where I want to connect with people, invest in people, get the best out of and pour the best into people, I find myself platforming. I maintain a certain level of well-rehearsed yet safely removed charisma;

In other words I make a thousand friends a day but I still go to bed lonely.

Where do you think this comes from? I think this is one of the greatest challenges about being called to and involved in ministry, the “platform relationships” we build.

To be honest, I’d much rather know 3 people like brothers and sisters and spend most of my time having relationships with them than be the kind of person who emotionally grazes everyone I meet.

What’s the missing ingredient in having real connections with people?

Do you ever feel like a politician?

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My one day.

I am one day going to write a book. A good book. A book about growing up. A book about living in a neighborhood and meeting girls and being a boy and riding your bike as fast as you can and feeling more than alive. 

One day, I’m going to put on a play. It might only have 5 people in it. It may have 50. It might be little more than a few short vignettes about random emotional themes. It could be a full-blown musical based around The Killers’ music. With escalators. And treadmills. And love and hate and murder and deceit and lots and lots of dancing.

One day, I’m going to act in a movie. It might be little more than me making fun of the writers of the “Saw” franchise on YouTube. Or I might be a junkie, trying to deal with his miserable life, love, and circumstance. It might make you roll your eyes and chuckle, or cry bitterly. I might get an oscar. Or just blogrolled.

One day, I’m going to record albums. At least once as a singer-songwriter. Again as a lead guitarist. Again as a drummer. 

One day I’m going to tour. As everything listed above.

One day, God is going to use every ounce of passion He built my heart around for His glory. It might be as pastor of a church. It might just be as the believable junkie in a popular indie film.

But God is big enough to use the dreams He gave me. And He’s big enough to fulfill the promises He made in those dreams.

I believe that God is going to give me my one days.

I believe that God can give you your one days.

What are you going to do in yours?

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is it black or is it white?

I. Hate. Getting mad. Being angry. Hating people.

Deep breath.

Today I got mad at someone. Really mad. I blew up at them. Shouted (electronically) at them. Felt hot under the collar and red in the face. Hated them in my heart. Imagined getting into a fight with them. Imagined letting them beat me up just to show everyone how much more Christ-like I am than they are.

Feel free to laugh at this point.

Anger sucks. A lot. Sucks bad. Real bad. Anger makes me feel disgusting inside. The deep-in-your-gut, dirty website, super bad word gross feeling. And you know why? Because anger doesn’t travel alone. Anger rolls with buddies. Friends like fear, doubt, worry, hate, impatience, malice. Do you notice a pattern?

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

That’s Galations 5:22 – 23. Kind of the exact opposites of the above listed emotions. When I read this verse and think about these fruits, I want them. I’m happy when they’re in my life. I’m happiest when I’m being loving, when I have joy and peace, when I’m patient with and kind towards my brothers and sisters, when I look for the goodness in people, when I’m full of faith; when I’m gentle and control myself. Call me selfish, but I really want to have the fruits of the Holy Spirit in my life. They make me happy. And more importantly, they bless the people around me. Through me, they edify my brothers and sisters. They are good and helpful for the body of Christ; my peeps.

Dear friend, I’m sorry for being so angry at you today. I trust you to have good intentions behind everything you do and say. It’s not my place to come down on you. I’m kind of a tool.

Dear God. I love your Spirit. I love the fruit of your Spirit in my life. Please fill me more and more with Your Holy Spirit. I’m sorry for being kind of a tool sometimes. Please forgive me for hating my bros.

Um…amen?

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tiny vessels moved into your neck

Ladies and gentleman, we are finally experiencing springtime in the Denver area. This excites me, because it means that I get to blow the dust off my “summer albums” and bring that old-timey sound back into my earways. My top picks for the sunny seasons: 

• Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy Eat World. All the time
• Lots of Bleach
• Death Cab For Cutie (mainly Plans)
• Ours (strange pick, but the new album makes the sunshine feel…interesting)
• Sleeping At Last (for warm evenings,)
• Um, lots and lots of The Killers. Duh.

So far, that’s what my spring will be sounding like. Bueno.

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