Midweek’s Confessional: Distractions

The worst vices and distractions in my life:

• #1 Is my Mac. Fellow Crackintosh owners understand the hurt. Even wasting time online is somehow more fun on my PowerBook G4, and shutting this puppy down is like volunteering to have a major appendage removed. But I had this thing out DURING CONVERSATION last week at small group. That is rediculous.
   
• Music. I’m kind of a “music guy,” to use the term loosely. Okay, music is my life. But I disguise my distraction under BS like “oh, I’ll just play some songs of praise to TLJC and call it good…or maybe I’ll just play Damien Rice covers until I fall asleep.” It is also way too easy to just turn on a worship CD and pretend that it’s the same as communing with God. But this just keeps me from having to get real and exposed before Him.
   
• My peeps. I love people. Specifically, I love my people. I love my girlfriend. I love my friends. I love my big brother. I love my church peeps and my work peeps. But I gotta take time, steal time, and make time for me and God. Nobody else. 

So now I beg the question….

 

What are your biggest distractors? Honest answers, iPhone users!!!

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Deadly Distraction (pt 2)

The killer part of my distracted life is realizing that the same things that distract me from having fellowship with God will distract me from having fellowship with the people I care about and love. Those same distractions are there, tearing down my human relationships as my relationship with God starts to break down.

Case in point: entering a room while talking on your Crackberry or Jesus iPhone. Texting constantly. “Hiding” in emails. Shoot, last night I sat on my laptop in total silence in the same room as one of my dearest friends in the world. I didn’t even acknowledge the fact that he was there. 

And you know what, I didn’t want him to know I was there. I haven’t been making any real efforts in our friendship, so it’s much easier to stay distracted than go to the work of being a bro.

Plus there are some recurring sins and struggles in my life that make me feel weak, embarrassed, and stupid, so the idea of having fellowship with my fellows is scary and uncomfortable. So I browse YouTube and read Mac blogs until I can’t keep my eyes open, and then I distract myself with sleep.

Doesn’t that suck?

When all the while I have tons of incredible human relationships and an incredible relationship with the living God of the ages that I’m ignoring. 

The relationships and fellowship that could bring me true depth, growth, and joy I ignore. 

This is a painful reality. But pain births desire, and desire births discipline. 

Sorry for being a lame friend. 

God, sorry for being a lame kid!

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Deadly Distraction (pt. 1)

Does that sound like a crappy 1980s splatter movie or what?

“The students at Murder Gulch High school were always distracted…until things got deadly.”

Sounds good, right?

Wrong.

Last night at small group we were talking more about Fellowship; this time we were talking about having true fellowship with God. A recurring theme and struggle for us seemed to just be finding time to have fellowship with TLJC.

The good news is that, because of His omnipresence and His interest in the entirety of our existence, every day can be a time for fellowship with God.

But what about those “other” times? 

The times when you’re sitting on the couch or digging through cupboards in your kitchen trying to stuff your bored face full of snacks. The times when it is all too obvious that God wants to hang out with you.

Your flesh is bored because your spirit is hungry for non-flesh stuff.

So what do most of us do?

Well, like any good person, I find ways to distract myself from spending time with God.

Because as a 21st century human, I don’t want intimacy or fellowship. I want entertainment.

And God probably doesn’t care to entertain me. My water won’t pour as wine. My hands won’t turn leper-y and then back again. So I’d rather find some distractions like playing Game Cube (no, I don’t have a “current-gen” console yet. Judge me,) or rearranging my bookshelf or building a new bookshelf when I don’t have one to rearrange. 

The point is, I will do anything to not have to sit and “do nothing” with God. I will do anything to distract myself from God’s pull on my heart.

But the reality is, my spirit is crying out for fellowship with God. And my flesh is pissed about it. So I feed the latter instead of the former. I let myself get distracted.

Here’s where things get deadly. I deny my spirit. I feed my flesh a little bit. But where my spirit would find total satisfaction in God’s presence, my fleshy side is never satisfied.

This is when distractions turn into temptations. My flesh now wants more. And more. You pull out your laptop and click a few too many banner adds. You flip the TV into the higher-numbered channels. You read the comments on a tech blog that you know will be misinformed drivel and make you feel really, really pissed off at everyone. You talk about politics with someone, even though you know it will only turn into an argument and hurt your relationship.

Now your distraction turns into something worse…something kind of like sin.

And the sin leads you to feel even more distance from God. Fellowship suffers even more. 

And it actually gets worse…

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Poladroid

This is the coolest app for your Mac, and it’s free!!!

Poladroid – 

here’s a taste of the fun I’ve been having:

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20 cents for overtime.

Right now, I feel as though I have over-committed and under-delivered on about 3,000,000 things. This is a recurring habit in my life. I want to say “yes” to everything that comes my way, and then I end up buckling under the weight of it all. I’m really bad at saying “no;” I’m terrible at even saying, “sure, but can it wait until tomorrow?”

Does anyone else deal with this?

Conversationally, this is the recent advice I’ve recieved:

“You just have to take it to God and trust Him to change it in you.”

That is a hard thing for me. I can’t just trust God to change me. I want to change me. I want to fix my problems.

How do you deal with this “trust” thing?

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Tuesday Brainase: I want my (actual) MTV

Wonderful time last night watching music videos. They progressively got better as the night went on, so I thought I would give you a breakdown. And the best part? All of these are free on Comcast for those of you subscribers out there!

• Coldplay ~ Violet Hill 
  I was definitely a fan of this song upon it’s release, but my affections have waned with the passing of time, and I must say that I am really not much of a fan anymore. This video does manage to capture on film the tumultuous and confused state of the band; the video displays a band and song still undecided whether to take themselves seriously and try to pose as a new, more “aware” and introspective Coldplay or to maintain the fun-loving, goofball image. Sadly, having a video that tries to be the serious, artsy Coldplay and the fun-loving goofy Coldplay serves only to present a befuddled, rather lousy video. If this video is supposed to be about anything, it is lost on me. If it isn’t, then it is just lost. ZING!  

   

• Death Cab For Cutie ~ Cath…
  Now, DCFC’s latest offering, Narrow Stairs, was not upon first listening a favorite of mine. However, the passing of time and subsequent re-listens have sent this album higher in my ears. While I think the album falls short of 2005’s Plans, I think that any follow-up to such a perfect (to me) record would seem lackluster. The more I listen to Narrow Stairs, the more I love it. It takes me back to the early DCFC days, with tracks like “No Sunlight,” “Cath,” and “Your New Twin Sized Bed” that remind me of the Something About Airplanes and The Photo Album days. The single “Cath…” and its video are essentially DCFC: simple, understated and effective. The guitar hook is signature, the story the song tells is memorable but not try-hard like much of today’s Decemberist-would be’s. The video is very basic with some cool shots of the band sitting in a grass-laden dressing room and while the teeny plot of the video is predictable, it is actually quite refreshingly so. Added bonus is Ben Gibbard looking sweet with long hair and new horn-rims. I give this one 4 little Seans.  

   

• Weezer – Pork and Beans
  Now, I realize that the latest Weezer has probably left a bad taste in the mouth of most W fans, but I have to say that the video for “Pork and Beans” is perfectly and quintessentially Weezer: the entire video is a hilarious smattering of YouTube “Best Of’s,” all re-shot for the video. Yes, the “Afro Ninja,” and “Numa Numa” dude are in this video! I can’t think of anything dorkier than an entire music video dedicated to stupid, random YouTube clips and characters; therefore I can’t think of anything more perfectly Weezer. Plus Rivers has a stellar mustache. Try and argue with that.  

   

• Fleet Foxes ~ White Winter Hymnal
  I have to preface by admitting (if you haven’t figured it out by now,) that I am a huge music video fan. I love the combination of the music with visual elements, especially seeing how sometimes the two elements tie with each other to further express a song and sometimes the video presents the song in an entirely new way. I can’t decide exactly which way “White Winter Hymnal” is portrayed in this video, but either way this is both one of the best music videos and animated work I’ve ever seen. The “Hymnal” video uses classic stop-motion (claymation) to present a stunning, beautiful, melancholy visual rendition of an already-wonderful song. If you haven’t heard the band’s brilliant, eponymous debut album, you are missing out on music that is perfect for napping, walking, driving, sleeping, sad, happy, apathy…it is just always good. The video for “Hymnal” creates a gorgeous landscape, made unassuming and somehow grandiose by the use of stop-motion. Especially in this time of CGI addiction, this return-to-simplicity method mirrors the aged, choral sound of Fleet Foxes. I can’t recommend the album and video highly enough.

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welcome to Web 2.5

Lacey is now blogging. 

That’s all I have to say about that.

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You taste like a burger, I don’t like you anymore.

Man, I’m sick of the oh-so-hip, “church has gotten everything wrong so I’m leaving and starting my own emergent model that does it all right now” model that has become so very popular. You know what I say to every Tom, Dick, and Jane that is writing a book about how horrible the church is and why every problem in their life is the Church’s fault?

Cry about it, Sally.

Are you just now realizing that when a group of people get together to follow God’s calling on their lives, perfection is not bestowed? 

Are you really telling me that the only answer to the “problem” of Church is to abandon it and cast witty, mean-spirited judgement on all the good and decent people trying their best? 

Because you felt left out of some silly clique, you’re telling me that the only answer for the greater good is to tell the Church to %&*! off because you can be somehow more effective on your own?

Cry about it.

I lived the first 21 years of my life completely controlled by emotions. When I got hurt or scared or tired or just didn’t “feel it,” I bailed. I ruined friendships, relationships, opportunities, and I hurt people. I’m working on it, okay?

Because that’s what grown-ups do. We talk, we express our feelings with cordiality and diplomacy, and then we stick around and work through our issues. This is not Jr. High, where you “go out” with the Church one week and then move on to something better.

Quit being a church skank.

Sack up and commit.

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set the frame

Yes, I do have Smashing Pumpkins stuck in my head and no, you probably can’t guess which song.

Tonight me and the fam (The Hosh, Revelation Is Too Strong A Word, 1or2 Thoughts,) had a good time at Rock Bottom with some tasty beverages and superb nachos. During our conversations, I brought up a perfectly geeky, secret desire of mine:

I want to hang out with Jon from Stuff Christians Like. I love his blog, it resonates with me, it cracks me up, and it reminds me of something I would write. Plus I feel bad that nobody came to his meet-and-greet and the Catalyst conference. I would’ve gone. We could’ve played with Awana frisbees. I’m sure there were some hiding somewhere.

This is where my dad gut-checked me: “What are you doing to move towards your goal?”

Now, this is not to say that chilling with Captain SCL is my life’s aspiration. But wanting to kick back with people I admire stems from my one big goal in life:

Impact. 

I want to live a life of impact. From blog to job, I want my life to start something. 

And I can’t do that if I don’t find ways to let other people who live impacting lives to directly influence me.

So what’s your goal?

And how are you going to get there? 

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Overcame

So far today, I’ve gotten done about half of what I need to. 

I’ve been berated by a customer for not carrying his computer to his Jag fast enough. Asked if I take any pride in what I do. Ask why he should deal with my company ever again. Told what horrible service we offer and that I should be embarrassed by my service.

I’m tired. 

I’m stressed.

I’m pissed.

I’m in the office trying to keep it all together with a 15-minute break, headphones and iTunes.

But I will overcome.

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